Tony is exceptionally bad at writing about himself and only marginally better at human interaction. He’s never had a real job but has somehow run a traffic counting company, a brand development studio, an art business, and a Map Shop. What’s next? Probably something equally hard to explain at parties. He sold 20+ commissioned paintings back when people still used landlines and thinks about picking up the brush again—right after he answers one more email.
He’s coached youth soccer for over a decade, started a competitive club in 2024, and is always one five-yard sprint away from a hamstring disaster. He plays several instruments with great enthusiasm and minimal skill, including drums, guitar, harmonica, and bagpipes.
He likes bringing people together and has organized basketball tournaments, school talent shows, and youth entrepreneurship programs. His wife reminded him to mention that he has a son, a daughter, and an amazing wife—whom he’s extremely lucky to have in his life.
Most importantly, chewing noises around Tony trigger an unexplainable—but very real—rage.
